bün-dä-gol

Don't act like you've never done it. It was definitely a boondoggle. You may have just called it something else. A "business trip"? "Offsite meeting? "Research Mission"? Yeah, right. I saw you with that nine iron in your hand. The only thing you were researching was the slope of the green to gauge where to put your approach shot. Shame on me? No sir, shame on your for not being able to honest with yourself. Remember, "to thine own self be true" also means that your out-of-office auto reply should act in kind and should read "I will not have access to email at this time because I'm having an awesome day". If you're one of the les miserables lucky enough to be shackled to an iphone or Blackberry, you should write "I will be checking email periodically but response will be delayed". Hey, you didn't lie. Response WILL be delayed. There's a good chance that it will be VERY delayed in fact. But at least the person who sent you the note knows that you care enough to read their message. This also means periodically that you look down at your handheld and see if anybody emailed you. If nobody did, consider your 2 seconds of work meaningful enough to place it back in your pocket. How noble of you to have checked in. Crack a little smile. You keep the engine of the American economy running. Oh, and there's trouble at the back, so you might want to think about pulling a wedge.

I'm not blaming you. Everybody needs one now and then. It addresses that key human trait of feeling that we're getting away with something while we should be doing something else. i guess it's just the Ferris Buellerness in all of us that just begs to be satisfied. Just don't come back to the office in January with a great tan when you were supposed to be in meetings all day at the LA branch. That's just not kosher and you will be suspect. My tip, find an insignificant day where your absence will not be noticed or noted and do something that is A) Way Super fun and B) has no chance of ever being found out. Golf is the standard but don't play on Friday. That's too obvious. You'll find yourself on every tee box waiting for the people in front of you, who should be doing something else just like you, waiting for somebody else that should be sitting at a desk to finally sink their putt. Friday golf boondoggles are the Delorian of the boondoggle. So 1980's. Way to go Mr.Bond, you took a Friday and played the same course you always do. You will inevitably shoot a 71 and be able to tell absolutely nobody about it. If you insist on being cliche, don't play at the local course. Too many potential witnesses. Play the course a few towns over that you've always wanted to try but never had the time until a random Tuesday came up in the middle of August. August is a great boondoggle month. It's warm, the weather is usually cooperative and it's a long month. 31 days with 21 chances. Waterpark on a wednesday? who goes to a waterpark on a wednesday? Smart boondogglers.

Of course all of these rules no longer apply when you involve your boss. Better yet, it's even better when you get somebody else to pay for it. Better still, you are so confident in your boondoggle that you print t-shirts, advertise what you are up to on a jumbotron, and then blog about it. That is ballsy boondoggling, my friend. But that's how you do it in the pros.

9/10/08: Milwaukee Brewers v. Cincinnati Reds 1:05pm 71 degrees. Brewers 4 Reds 3.
The Hot Dog won the Sausage Race. I know, because I was there.

PS. Thanks to the good people of Miller Park for letting us lock up the 28 bikes we rode to the game!

Backstage at Backstage

If you will recall my mentioning, before this year's Trekworld commenced at the Monona Terrace, we threw a little hullabaloo for the nation's bike shop employees here at the saltmine. Aside from the live music, dave mirra tricks, tattoos was the typical "shenaniganry" of a summer evening in the parking lot of the nation's best bicycle company. The Pure Trike is a product that we carry that has been used in the past as a beer delivery vehicle but what with everybody being outside all day, we turned it into our own ice cream truck. Well, after the party-goers were over the ice-cream, one of them decided to see if they could take the Pure Trike where no Pure Trike has ever gone before. Airborne. The result was about 8 inches of air off the quarter pipe onto a table-top, an enthusiastic cheer from the attendees, and Astropops everywhere.

Blog Note: Life in the Bike Lane does not support smoking. Unless you are smoking some chumps  on the trail/road. We're all about that.

Peep This: The District 96

Trekworld's in town. More on that later. For now, Check out this.

Car companies do concept cars, we do concept bikes. Got questions? ask.

I'll have an interview with the designer after the dust settles from our annual circus.

The Money Coat

Today's a big day. Gotta throw one of my most important projects in front of some key people here at Trek and either revel in the adulation or suffer the blows of criticism. Basically my weekend hinges upon their feedback so the fingers are crossed. It's also a big deadline for some other things that I've had circled on the calendar for a while. I've heard the mantra that "Good things happen to good looking people" so even though it's casual Friday (as opposed to casual Monday-Thursday if you work at a bicycle company) I threw on what I like to call "The Money Coat". The Money Coat is only to be worn in certain situations where you need to feel, as Vince Vaughn made famous in Swingers, "money baby". The Money Coat is a modest white cotton blazer in a light grey pinstripe. I won't mention the manufacturer as I'm not here to plug designers, just merely expounding upon you the psychological wonders of a perceived lucky garment.

This coat has helped me out in the past and I gotta say it's well taken care of lest its powers be diminished by mistreatment. The true essence of the coat was displayed once again this morning as I had just thrown it on when I turned the TV from CNN's American Morning to NBC's Today Show to see America's favorite buzz-cutt anchorman, Matt Lauer,talking about the benefits of riding a bike and the upward trend in American cycling. The intro followed up by a piece on a woman who teaches adults to ride along with Our very own, super fresh, Manhattan-based dealer Bicycle Habitat featured as well. If you're in the mid-town area of NYC, drop by Habitat on Lafayette. Great people, great bikes. To top the whole thing off, Matt and his colleague wax about bikes while holding the Trek Lime.

This coat is so money that I didn't even know it. Everything's coming up me today.

Bottles and Clams, Just Clap Your Hands, Just Clap Your Hands

 
Just flew back from Charleston and boy are my arms tired! But seriously, take my boiled peanuts....please! Ok, I'll take it down a notch and explain what's been happening in lifestyle land. Last week gas broke the $4/gallon mark, the midwest is now made of small island-nations, and this week the politcos are banging the off-shore drilling drum. Through all of this we still have to make a catalog and what better place to do it than one of the most beautiful cities in the entire country, Charleston, SC. We headed down to the city that saw the first shots of the Civil War to do some shooting of our own. We chose the iconic southern city as the first site of our 2009 Lifestyle catalog and were absolutely floored by what we experienced. First off, the city is jack-packed with colonial aesthetics which is a total plus if you're trying to shoot a catalog. Secondly, the city is brimming with great food. Coming from Wisco the freshest fish i usually eat is bass or the very occasional filet-o-fish so it was nice to sample some actual seafare. Coming in third on the top 3 of why Charleston rocked my world has to be the people. Rated by those in the know as the most well-mannered city in America, Charlestonites more than live up to their reputation. Everybody says hello to you and it's often followed by a "Have a nice day". Seriously, all of this politeness was kind of unsettling at first. People even say hello to you when they're out for a run. I consider myself a very polite individual but if i'm in the groove and the heart rate's up there, i'm just not in the mood for casual pleasantries. Charlestonites never miss a beat. However unsettling it was, I have to say that it was incredibly refreshing (especially after getting propositioned for an mp4 player in NYC) and I fell into line very quickly. I would go so far as to say that there may not be a more pleasant place to visit in the entire country.

The downtown is very accessable by bike and given the alleys and tight streets, I would recomend going by bike once you're downtown. One thing I'll stress is that you get yourself a decent ride. The cobbles and brick streets left from the 1700's are still very much intact and useable. If your bike's not up to snuff, they will shake the plastic fenders right off that thing. Don't worry about locking your bike up at Fort Sumter. Something about being the most well mannered city in the US goes along with the low crime-rate. A U-lock will do you no problem.

Epiphany: The colonists made streets that have lasted over 300 years with limited technology but the streets made today with all the advancements we've made don't even last a full winter without sustaining serious potholes. What's up with that?

One gripe: The heat. They have a heat there that I have never felt. I can deal with temps in the high 90's but when the humidity is around 90 as well, that's just a tad uncomfortable. The heat wave that hit the Eastern Seaboard was rough but my fiancee's stories of people traversing the roads of Wisconsin in canoes kept my complaints to a quick "yeah, it's a little warm down here."

Look for the catalog to drop Late-August at your local Trek dealer.

Top 3 Places We Ate
Magnolias - White linens, people dressed up, old southern style. Get the Shrimp and Grits. You will NOT be disapointed. Order a Mint Julep for the full effect.
Hyman's Seafood - A local staple that should not be missed. They also carry the local brew Palmetto Amber which was off the meter.
Hominy Grill - A little off the beaten path but worth the trip. Looks like some southern grandma's dining room from the 1920's that you walked into with the smell of grits and collards wafting over white lace. Save room for the pecan pie.

Win Hootie's Hoodie: The first person who can tell me what song and artist I ripped off for the title of this post wins a limited edition Soho Hoodie. I only have larges and x-larges left so if you're little, do something nice for your bigger friends and hook em' up!

Flyest Lime of All Time?

Peep this Lime that my partners in bicycle-related crime sent into the inbox this morning. While the Lime has been on a non-stop whirlwind PR tour for the past year, I haven't seen too many custom jobs straight from the Lime faithful. While the bike is designed to appeal to non-bike people, it's really fun to see what happens when it winds up in the hands of an innovative bicycle somebody who puts a little love into it.
I also feel that I am following proper blog etiquette by linking my blog to somebody else's. Thus creating a "blogosphere" or something like that. Either way, Matt Haughey is the artist and author of this beautiful creation. I'll save you the details as you really should read Matt's own words. Awesome combination of natural fibers, hard work, and a flask in the cage to boot. The crack about imac 98 withstanding (no worries Matt, no hard feelings) I dig the whole kit and caboodle.

Even Triathletes Get Married

Every once in a while an event comes along where somebody asks a favor of you and you know from the moment they opened their mouths, you couldn't say no. Recently I was tasked with scoring a custom bike (not just a bike, an Equinox TTX) for a young man to bestow upon his beautiful bride (a coworker and good friend) the day before their nuptials. How could one deny such a noble quest?
Issue 1 was that the bride works approximately 5 feet from those who would have to put this operation into motion. We worked up the project name of "Slow Turtle" and came up with some sweet code names (Cool Breeze, Black Mamba, and Bald Eagle were just a few). Issue 2 was that the bike would be painted the colors of the wedding which our paint department had yet to have come up with. Now, thanks to this project, Trek has a "Becky Green" named after the very lucky recipient.
The reaction was a total freakout. I was in Huntington Beach researching cruisers (soon to be blogged about) so I wasn't there to witness it but I heard that it was one for the ages.
Kinda raises the bar for all those other Trekkies getting hitched this summer. Thanks a lot, Mark.
Wedding was on Saturday in the capital city. beautiful weather with gusty winds. two flower vases and a veil bit it and i lost $10 betting the whole altar was going down.

The Road To Mandalay

If I could go back to school, I'd major in journalism. If you can make it as a writer, you may just find yourself leading an incredibly interesting life. It's tough going to be a journo but the perks can be huge. Recently, my boy Porter Fox (all-world writer, lives in NYC, yes i'm jealous) retraced the Rudyard Kipling Poem, The Road to Mandalay by bicycle for a story he was working for a mag that I will forego mentioning right now. Gotta keep the suspense, I'll post it when it drops. The trip took him and a friend through modern day Vietnam and Burma and presented some interesting challenges for equipping his gear needs. He needed a bike that could take some bumps but the terrain would be almost 50/50 dirt and pavement. Some of the areas were going to see some pretty gnarly drops so we immediately went to a suspension fork. The frame needed to be able to take some abuse so we went with the Trek 6700 and 6700 WSD. The pavement was what threw us. While the 6700 is a mountain bike, Porter and his companion would find their lives and travels made much easier if we could get them some slicks. My compadre, Natascha (Bontrager Diva), kicked in some wide slicks with some puncture-proof aspects and we wished the travelers all the best.
Porter got back to the states and hooked me up with the video from his time riding through Vietnam. The helmet-cam provides some interesting views and a great view of the country-side and locals.

Don't Drink The Water

So my bracket this year (just like yours) is total garbage. Four #1 seeds? That’s not supposed to happen. I didn’t even pony up for the office pool this year just based on the layout of the tourney.  No way to win with so crowded a pool. I have a circle of buds from the old school that have the “No WAGS” pool. WAGS standing for Wives And Girlfriends. The rule was implemented after a fifth straight year of the pool being won by somebody whose name ended with “istie” or “acy”. Pools should not be made upon who has the cutest mascots or the best color schemes but for some reason (and because God obviously did not look the other way when I was in college) the Maryland Terrapins had “the cutest turtle” mascot the same year that they also had the best backcourt in the country and “Carolina Blue” just happened to be the color closest to “Tiffany’s Blue” the same year the Heels cut down the nets.  The final straw came in 06 when an excited ___-istie claimed victory by leaping from her barstool in a crowded establishment and declared to the patrons “I picked Florida because I was there for Spring Break!”  Maybe it was because she yelled it right at her (then) boyfriend and self proclaimed “Bracketologist” Tyler, maybe it was because she then launched into the “I-just-took-your-money dance, maybe it was because everybody hated ___-istie before this outburst but for one reason or another we didn’t see much of ___-iste after that night. It was probably because Tyler was already onto another ___-acy by then. 

I swore this was going to be my year. My Badgers were looking strong after the conference season and tournament title, I knew Carolina and UCLA were not going to disappoint, and I had a dead-on hunch that Duke was not long for March. So what happens? Kyle’s new girlfriend, Stacy (of course), does his pool (unbeknownst to his homies) since he was out of the country and she wuss-bets him into a perfect Final Four by taking all #1 seeds. So now the guys who have given Kyle the business over the past weeks for filling out a bracket that held as much bravado as a Chihuahua in a tutu have to lay our bags of silver at his feet and it’s all because some “acy” snuck back into the pool. Well, I’ll give up my silver but I want the world to know it’s dirty money. The pool has tainted water this year my friends. Tainted water. 

Trekkies!: The Pedal Powered Snowplow

They say when a writer officially runs out of things to talk about they look around themselves. So that's what I guess I'm doing here. To stay current, relevant, and since Madison has officially reached 100 inches of snow and it doesn't look like i'll be riding anywhere for a while, I'm turning to my fellow hamsters at the wheel that is Trek Bicycle Corp.

You may have noticed that you just read the words "100 inches of snow" in the preceding paragraph. This winter has brought with it a ridiculous amount of snow and turned southern Wisconsin into a bunch of cranky, pain-killer abusing shut-ins. You'd be surprised how bad your back hurts after shoveling 100 inches of snow off of your driveway. I'm currently throwing back a mixture of Flinstone's vitamins, Excedrin, with a nice Prozac chaser. Not recommended. Throw in Brett Favre's retirement and people around here are starting to think "what's the point?".

Well some of us would rather innovate than whine and that's exactly what an engineer named Kevin Blake did. With 100 inches of snow a salesperson would sell snowcones. With 100 inches of snow a PR specialist would tell you that at least it was a gradual 100 inches. It took an engineer to build something in order to do something about it. Using a few parts of a "deceased" riding lawn mower, Kevin built the ultimate way to get some off-season spinning and move some serious powder at the same time. 

My fellow Trekkies are actually doing some pretty wild things in between bringing you the best bikes in the whole world. I'll do a feature once in a while where we lift the curtain a little and see what's going on behind the front desk. We'll tip our hats to the nerds of the world and call it "Trekkies!".

Don't worry, I'll be in a much better mood during the next post. I think the Prozac's starting to kick in.