Hide your kids, hide your wife! - there is a Blizzard coming!

 

Mid storm!

 

It is here!  It might actually be the storm of the century.  After all, the century is all of 12 years old. 

In reality, we are getting about 8 inches of really wet snow.  The blizzard that wasn't.  It was a big storm, but not one that should have had a place like Wisconsin really so freaked out.  Good grief, we have a few of these every winter.  There has been mass hysteria over this storm thing for days.  School was cancelled already the day before, the University of Wisconsin was planned to be closed already the day before, the news was doing weather alerts the days before, the stores were busy with people stocking up...  Wow.  Pandemonium.

In the end, it looks like the storm is just going to be one of the average big storms that we will see here in Wisconsin each winter.  Not a killer, not a bust, just somewhere in the middle.  Writing this at 3pm on the day of the storm, Weather.com says the storm is going to carry on into the night.  But, when I look at the map it looks like it will all be done in the next hour. 

 

Sean from Trek Travel rode his bike into work anyway. I am jealous.

 

Just about the funniest thing I have seen in regards to the storm is this video.  Enjoy.

Joe

 

The best ever family game!

“Best and Worst!” Yes I am seated, so I can call that game.  If you have not yet figured things out, I am pretty much the smartest person you know.  And you know, it is the proverbial - If you do not believe me, just ask me...  But, well beyond just offering that as proof, I will tell you that if you do not believe me, just ask my family.  They will certainly tell you that I am most certainly the smartest person you know - just ask him.  Even Chris reluctantly has to admit. 

I started this game at my family dinner table when my kids were young.

The game started as just a way to get everyone talking and for me to stay in touch with my kids when they were growing up. The game was that you had to say out loud what the best part of your day was and worst part. The rules were pretty simple at first, you had to have answers and could not pass. Something was a little bit better than something else, something was a little bit worse.  It worked. We all talked, we all knew something about each other and we got a sense of who we were as a family and who we were becoming as individuals. And, we learned that we really liked each other. But, the really great part is that the game has taken on a level of mythology that is truly impressive. The rules evolved along the way.

The first evolution of the rules was that you could not say the same thing as someone else. That meant that if you had spent the whole day with someone, you really wanted to be able to go before them, as it was hard sometimes to not have the same answers as the person before you.

That pushed the next evolution of the game, the person that called the game got to decide the order. Calling the game could only be done when everyone was seated. That led to a mad dash to call the game the moment the last bum touched a seat. This would set off a bout of competitiveness, and anything you can compete at in our family is a good thing. Of course calling the game meant you got to penalize someone into going last, making it difficult for them to come up with an acceptable offer on the game that had not already been spoken by someone else.

The next evolution on the rules was a complete ban on anything cheesy. One could not ever ever ever say something like “My best is that we are all here together for dinner.” – Cheesy. "I am so happy that we are having xx for dinner." - Cheesy.   This rule has been particularly difficult for guests to understand. Grandparents in particular have difficulty with this rule.

The next evolution was that the person who called the game could decide to change the rules at any point in the game. Most people do this as they really just want to penalize Ali (at least that is what she assumes, "No one in this family ever listens") I like to be able to change the rules midstride, just to exert my authority over the game. Somewhere along the way Liz is going to say “Your not the boss of me…” Given that, I need to find ways to be in charge.

The last evolution of the rules is that I can change the game rules anytime I want, even if I did not call the game. I am sort of a dictator. Most people are fine with this (recognizing the superior intellect), Hanna has just resigned herself to it, but it mostly just irks Chris – which is the real reason that I created this rule in the first place.

The funny part is the lore of the game. It was fun even when the kids were in college, as their friends would come to the table and say “Ooo, I have heard about this game.”

It is pretty much the best family game ever.

So, Best and Worst!  I am also taking the liberty of listing more than 1 thing - if I want to.

Best

 

Oh what a lovely squeek

1. Belgium in the spring.  As you are well aware now, Belgium is the galactic center of cycling.

 

If you ever have the opportunity to go to Belgium at the end of March/beg April - do it.  Get yourself to the Koppenberg climb on the day of Flanders race ride the roads around Flanders, drink in the cycling history.  It is absolutely the best part of Cycling.  Last year I was fortunate enough to go there and ride the Flanders course, ride the Roubaix challenge (I realize it is not really Belgium, but it is sort of the same part of the world) and then ride the Roubaix cobbles again on my own. 

The crazy Belgian fans, the terrain, the history, the cobbles are tough, the climbs are steep, the wind is horrible, the speeds are impressive - you will never forget it.

I am going again this year.  Stay in Brugge, drink Belgian Trappist Ale, ride my bike and hope I do not fall down, with Fabian Cancellara romp through the races and generally speak crummy french while smiling big the whole time.  (The Mexican Food is almost non existent though)

 

 

Keep your hands off my burrito.

2. I think that I had an all time record number of burrito's this year.  I am not certain, but I know I had more than 100 burrito's during the course of the year.  There is nothing wrong with that, is there?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's a strange family, I know.

3.  Mountain bike rides.  Blessed samples I have had this year.  Fortunate that I travel and that I like to ride my mountain bike am I.  Wondering where to ride you must be.  Further looking than my list you will not need to. 

 

I did a great trip to Arizona with the family in January.  It was duper.  Love riding there, it is just about my favorite XC riding.  If you have not ridden in the dessert, then you may not know what you are missing.  I also did a great family trip to the UP of Michigan.  Copper Harbor it was, there hey.  Great riding place.  Liz and I did what was supposed to be a great MTB trip to Australia.  Alas, that was cut short by a Kangaroo getting in my way. 

I guess that means that the Az trip has to be the highlight for this best and worst trip down memory lane of the year.  There you have it.

 

Worst

 

Australian hospitals are a kicking place to spend a MTB vaca.

1.  To me personally it has to be the Kangaroo incident in Australia.  Imagine my displeasure to go all the way to Australia to ride MTB, only to have a Kangaroo take me out on a ride.  Arghh... 

 

But, I did get to experience the Australian health care system - Bonus.  Damn Kanagroos.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2.  I did not get to go to Whistler.  I wanted to, but just did not get to.  Grr...  No picture of that one, as it would just be a guy with a sad face.  If you have not been to Whistler, and you are a mountain biker - you just need to go.  There really isn't anywhere more fun.  I will get there this year.

 

 

Lloyd cutting it up in Utah.

3.  I still have not been able to get out for a ride with my friend Lloyd.  He even went to Moab this year, and I did not get to go with him.  Of course it was entirely his fault that he chose a week that I could not join.  I also plan to get out there and ride the Whole Enchilada and eat about 12 burrito's - mostly because I can and I cannot let Lloyd be ahead of me on this one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Out, for another year of adventure.  grrpp.

Joe

Consider this for your imagination...

I have exactly 666 followers on Twitter.  Check it out!  @joev3  Not just 665 or 667, exactly 666. (cue the Twilight Zone music now which sounds like do do do do, do do do do, do do do do) I am seriously jazzed by that concept.  What a fantastic number to stop on.  I think I will keep it right there.  If you join up with me, I might just go in and delete the same number of old deadbeat followers to keep it right there.  I kinda like the symmetry of the number.  It is a small number that I can deal with.  Feels intimate, kinda homey.  A bigger number just feels like someone is going to start a fight or something.  Dangerous.  Sort of like drinking a beer with your neighbor in the garage, while looking at your bikes or motorcycle.  No girls allowed - man stuff.

Some people think that 666 is the sign of the devil.  I like to think of it as the inverse of 999.  Sort of like being a bat and hanging around the shop upside down.  Makes the blood rush to your head. And, completely eliminates jetlag, but it does make you feel like your head is going to explode.  Maybe that is why vampires look like they are going to jump you at any time.  Think about the last time you were around a vampire, and I am sure you will agree with me.  See?

Saturday came and went, trainer workout, dog walk, working on the motorbike session in the garage, Oatmeal and IPA etc...  you know, just stuff like normal people do.  I still have not gotten to the serious garage remodel and paint freshen that I need to.  Summer took it's toll on the man cave.  I love the garage, and no Garrison did not build it for me.  Oh, I did get to a coffee shop - that just proves I am alive though.  Funny how Saturdays just seem to pile on after Friday.  It is like it is part of the calendar and the way of worlds or something.

I am feeling a bit like Rod Serling.  If you do not know who he was, look it up - Twilight Zone, creepy stuff.  I will describe what I see as weird and crazy.  Things that could catch you in an alternate reality.  Like Cyclocross or racing a goofy road bike over terrain that isn't really mountain bike worthy, but isn't a road either.  It is in the twilight zone of bike riding surfaces.  A surface that is meant to bump and tether.  A surface that is neither round nor square, straight nor crooked, left nor right - it goes through the picture as it would if it were living a parallel life.  Sort of oblique. 

 

The best part of cyclocross = Frites!

So then the Sunday came next.  Part of the Regional Championship on the course from the state championship the day before on the course of the national championship of the season prior on the course of the National Championship of the season to come, making Verona part of the nation officially.  (And this has nothing to do with the Green Bay Packers.) As the forecast called for rain mixed with snow and 37, I am sure that I would want to race, but alas the vicious Kanga has eliminated that possibility.  "Stay away from the cans, he hates cans".  (As that has nothing to do with Kangaroo's or Drop Bears, I just thought I would throw that in.)   But, mud boots and frites with the sound of cowbells is what we will all be about on the Sunday.  Visions of Belgian sand run ups in my head.  <Belgium is the Wisconsin of Europe after all.>

 

"I'm from Kansas City. We don't have snow there. This is bull shit..." This guy didn't say that, but another racer did. Classic.

 

It was cold.  It was slippery.  If you were not from Wisconsin, and had to ride in this.  Ugh. I wish I could have ridden it.  Looked like huge amounts of fun, even though it is just a silly sport.  Sort of like going to Camelot - a silly place. 

But, there were people handing bacon out on the side of the course to the racers.  Gotta love a sport that has that going on.

 

It was slippery out there people. This is the leader of the mens pro race about to fall down. A vision of what National Championship could be like.

 

Be careful out there people.  Drop bears are everywhere.

Out,

Joe

 

 

I am now officially from Wisconsin.

Wisconsin to the core. I mean seriously, where else would I be from?

I have lived here for more than 20 years.  Think about that, 20 years.  Some of you reading this may not be much older than that.  Of course your still sitting there reading my blog, with gives me some sort of power over you, but nonetheless, there is no denying that I am old.  You know, first the earth's core cooled - then I was born then somewhere in there I moved to Wisconsin.

I moved to Wisconsin, so that I could avoid the hassle of all of those mountains and great snowfall and kangaroo's.  In the end, we do like to send out a mailer.

After living here for nigh on 25 years, I decided it was time to truly embrace the place.  So, this past few weeks I have been eating sausages, talking with a wisconsin accent, drinking more beer than I should be and then I finally took the plunge and went to a Packer game.  "Hey, I have never been to a Packer game and I bet you have not either..."  So away we went. Club level it was - chairs with backs even.  (Good for people that are still not converted)

Apparently the purple hoard needed to be turned back.  I did feel just a bit out of place as I did not have a kilt on or goldilocks braids or even any sort of painted body parts.  I did have baloney in my shoes though.  Not sure why, but was told that it was necessary.

First observation about the whole thing. - it was pretty fun.

Next observation - there are alot of people there.  Feels like way more people than any other sporting event i have ever been to.

Third observation - there are not any green and gold sweatshirts available in the world anywhere.  They are all at Lambeau field.  In the imortal words of Buckaroo Banzai - wherever you are, there you are.

Damn. That is a lot of green and yellow.

I spent most of my time at the game scanning the air looking for the golden snitch and trying to be ready to dodge a bludger.  I am certain that the drunk girl at the end of our row was knocked silly by a bludger.  One minute she was dancing and being vulgar spilling her beer on neighbors, and the next she was sprawled out over the dude in the row ahead of us. That lead to a bunch of leering at the mom in the back row and then a bunch of people calling for a first down. 

The traffic on the way home was impressive.  How do 60,000+ people get the hell out of dodge?  They sit in traffic and hope for the best.  The best is pretty slow moving. 

In the end, the Pack (I have learned that is what you call them), smashed the purple marauders.  There was one runner kinda guy in purple that was pretty impressive in his speed, oh Peterson was his name-o. 

Now where is my University of Wisconsin Buckey sweatshirt, my Green Bay car flags, my Brewers baseball jersey...  Odd that Penguin being there.

Much of the game was spent in pursuit.

Liz and John trying to get under the invisibility cloak.

A good time was had by all, don't cha know!

 

 

The 20, or so, days of Christmas - as told by Sky Mall magazine.

I have traveled alot this year.  When you travel, you get really bored.  When you do it only occasionally as a vacation, it is all pretty interesting.  This year I have flown approximately 275,000 miles on airplanes, I am just finishing my 9th trip to Europe this year.  At that many miles, the time spent in airplanes and in airports really stacks up.  It can be mind numbing.

So, this year to celebrate just how much fun I have had in air travel, I have decided to do all of my Christmas shopping for people from the Sky Mall catalog.  Sky Mall is the shopping magazine that is always in the back of the seat in front of you on the airplane.  It provides endless hours of fun while on the plane.  Who knew?

This is really going to be special.

 

This is a really special dog couch. This will go be for Ali. She doesn't have a dog, but you have to start somewhere. I really hope she doesn't get dogs that look like that though.

 

 

This wheel thing will be for Hanna. She has always been a circus freak, so this will add to the legacy. Plus, who wouldn't want a wheel the you could nearly die on while trying to go around the block.  Plus, it looks like it is a bargain at $1799!

 

 

This will have to be for my brother David. He will need this. As Ralphie said "Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window."

 

 

I do not know what it is, but I am definately signing up for the best advice ever.

 

 

This is for my friend Philip who lives in Australia. He has a bald head and the sun is intense down there. Plus, that looks so real.

 

 

This is a really good thing for my friend Chris. It is really fashionable, and it will make your neck look longer.

 

 

Ahhh. My head is being crushed inside these 2 clam shells.

 

 

Head Massage. This is for Chris Bach.

 

 

These are too expensive, so I am just cutting my own duct tape "H" for Dean's back.

 

This will be for me. I am totally getting that belt thing to end up with a stomach like that.

 

 

I think this will be for Thomas. Everyone needs a shirt like this.

 

 

I will get this for Liz. She needs excercise contraptions like that.

 

 

This will be a group present for Ali and Hanna. It is the newest craze in outdoor games afterall.

 

 

This is spectacular. Who doesn't need a zombie coming out of the garden? I think that I would get this for my assistant Teppy.

 

 

This says it is life size. How do they know? This is totally going in my back yard.

 

 

Here is a new product idea. I think this one would make great sense. It is almost as large as a car...

 

 

This thing doubles as a hair grower and a space helmet.

 

 

Now that is a sweet thing to carry through the airport. Plus, damn that is a great purple shirt the guy is wearing.

 

 

Now Gnome's are really cool. But geez, skeleton Gnomes are even cooler.

 

 

I do not even know what that is supposed to be.

 

So there you go.  Now that you have seen the fabulous gift ideas, you probably need a Sky Mall book as well.  Enjoy.

Out,

Joe