There are a bunch of good things about being somewhere in the world. Culture, currency, architecture, cars, motorcycles, weather, etc... But the top reason, independently verified if you are concerned, is food. Yep. You gotta eat, after all. The beauty of it all, is that food is different everywhere you go. If you are in Italy, you can get superb pizza and espresso (actually just about any food is fantastic there). If you are in France, Nutella and baguettes rule the day. Paella in Espana, curry in England, sushi in Japan and on and on. Wow, food is a whole theme you could follow around the world.
The beauty of all of this, is that everyone has their own interpretation of what works in an area of the world.
For me, being back in the USA, it's all about the burrito. The burrito is the food of foods when you are here in the USA. It is the perfect food, after all. It even comes wrapped in foil. Let me back that up for you.
If you go back in bike time, you might recall an advertisement from Fox mountain bike suspension. In the advert that I am referring to, there is a really sweet piece of singletrack heading off into the distance. The singletrack is pitched slightly downhill, and the vantage point of the photo gives the impression that it is going to be 30 or more minutes of sweet descending to get to the bottom. You just know it is going to be epic. At the top of the mountain, perched right on the side of the trail is a burrito stand. The only caption on the advert is “In a perfect world...”
That advert says it all, a burrito makes even the best experiences just that much better. It is, after all, the world’s most perfect food. I intend to prove that to you below.
I don’t know about you, but topping off a great experience with a burrito is nearly perfection. After a great long road bicycle ride or a great MTB ride or a motorcycle race or… A burrito really floats my boat. I know my other riding and ski buddies really get tired of the endless stream of burritos in my life, but almost everything leads to a burrito. There’s about only one thing that doesn’t lead to a burrito but this is a family blog, so we will leave that alone.
Burrito vs Pizza:
There are a lot of you out there that want to argue about now with me about this. But, since I write this blog, I am not going to entertain those arguments. There are some of you who have written in claiming that I am wrong and that it is pizza that is the perfect food.
Well, I will agree that pizza is very good. A tremendous food. In fact, pizza nearly qualifies as its own food group. Who can argue with thin dough, spread out, covered with tangy tomato sauce, and then garnished with any manner of toppings? It can be eaten with a fork or with your fingers, and on that point it scores just as high as a burrito. Plus, pizza is Italian. I have been to Italy and the cars and girls there are hot, so it is an enticing argument.
But, pizza loses out to the burrito in 3 areas:
1. A burrito is good with almost anything added inside. Burritos can make even something like broccoli seem ok. The measure of a truly exceptional food is one that can make mediocre things tolerable. I just cannot imagine broccoli on pizza.
2. Both pizza and a burrito can be eaten with beer. That is good, because non-breakfast foods that cannot be eaten with beer are to be avoided. But, pizza can also be eaten with wine. Because of that, it is inevitable that someone feels they need to fancy up a pizza joint, making it a place that one cannot go all muddy after racing your bicycle or motorcycle. I mean, the term “Upscale Burrito Joint” just doesn’t exist. Plus, they can serve chips and salsa with burritos, (the perfect sidedish – but that is another story altogether.)
3. The pizza takes too long to prepare. When you show up at the non-upscale burrito place after destroying yourself on a 4 hour MTB ride, you can be tucking into a fat handfull of post ride bliss in about 4 minutes. At the pizza place you are still waiting for your food after the burrito guy is stuffed to the gills and farting black beans back in the front seat of the truck. Now that’s living.
4. The 4th reason of the 3 reasons, my girlie is actually a really good cook. She makes dynamite Italian food, including a really mean pizza. She gets it from her Mom, who was an excellent cook. I really enjoy making pizza with her at home. Her pizza is actually better than anything not made by that hot Italian chef, Giada, on TV. But here’s the deal, she cannot make a burrito better than a good burrito joint. As I said, she is a really good cook. So, that leads me to believe that the burrito requires a higher level of culinary expertise than the pizza.
So there you have it. Advantage burrito.
Is the burrito actually Mexican food?
I think this is a legitimate question. I mean, you can find a burrito when you are in Mexico, but they really are not as good as the burritos in Texas or California. I think that the burrito went through a transformation when it migrated north. It transformed and got better.
Sort of like Optimus Prime. Prime is pretty cool as a semi-truck, but he is really cool once he transforms into the skating badass that he is as a Transformer.
Transformers appear to be just trucks or cars from some assembly factory on first inspection. But in reality they are from somewhere in outer space. That is why I question if the burrito is really from Mexico. Are they really what they seem?
A wrap is not a burrito.
Brace yourself. They aren’t. A wrap is someone’s attempt to fancy up a burrito. In concept, almost anything wrapped in a tortilla shell should be a good thing. And it is. It isn’t the food itself that makes a wrap inherently less than a burrito.
A place that serves something called a wrap is putting on airs. The name is trying to trick the people that are looking for an upscale pizza joint into stopping here instead of going down the street. And, generally speaking, a wrap doesn’t involve beans and is just a rolled up sandwich.
No, a wrap is not a burrito.
Random Burrito notes:
You cannot get a burrito of any consequence in China.
There is some sort of magic that holds the burrito all together. Try it at home, you can never get it all to stay together.
I think I look pretty striking while eating a burrito.
Dutch people do not do burrito’s.
Trek's Race Department Manager, Scott Daubert, can eat a Chipotle burrito in about 3 minutes.
That pretty much sums it all up for me.
The burrito is hands down the best food there is.
Although I do really enjoy a Quiznos sandwich… some serious sandwich artistry going on there.