What's in A Name?

"Well, I never heard it before, but it sounds uncommon nonsense."
    - The Mock Turtle, Alice in Wonderland

If there is one drawback to the current occupation that I am engaged in it is the burden of naming. Naming product has got to be the world's most frustrating experience. On the surface it seems fun, right? Creative, a chance to make an impact and show everybody how clever you are while logging hours of google and wikipedia time. What's not to like? Well grab a beanie because I'm about to blow your mind.
This is the actual naming process:

1. It's gotta be legit. The name has to make sense and often times convey something about the product. There are a ton of fun words out there and you can even make up a word....as long as it makes some kind of sense. Again, I refer to the Flowbee.

2. It's gotta be legal. Even if you come up with the dopest name on the planet, chances are that you're not the first person to think of it. And since you're not the first to think of it, you're probably not the first to try and register it. And if you're not the first to register it and you move along anyway, you will get sued.

3. It's gotta be polite. You could come up with a great word that totally works in the states. But when you work for a global brand or you'd like to sell the product outside of the United States you better make sure that the word doesn't mean "Hates Kittens" in a dutch. That is of course you don't get sued because another company already registered the name in another country.

4. It's gotta pass. If you work for yourself or happen to be the "El Jefe" of whatever business you work at, no worries, you're already a fan of your own creative. Gold Star! If you are one of the 99% of Americans who have to answer to somebody or somebodies, you better make sure that they'll like the name and that if they don't, you have seperated yourself enough from it not be emotionally affected if they choose to poke fun at the name and your continued employment.

5. It's gotta work. If you are successful in navigating the previous trevails, good luck getting consumers to like it. Like anything else, it's a crapshoot. The surest way of doing this is by putting the letter "i" in front of whatever name you chose. Unless you named a Vacuum the "Suck". Nobody's going to buy an "iSuck".

So that's my rant. I'm going to get back to my whiteboard and see if anything useful comes out. I'll revisit this topic later when a name's been approved and give you the full report.

Comments

[Cyclelicious]

iBike? Oh wait, that's taken. iRoll, iMove, iGo... How about the Disco Volante?

If several people leave comments with proposed product names and you end up using one of those names, even if you don't approve the comments or even look at them you've opened yourself up to liability.

[JM]

It is legal to reuse the names of now-defunct 70s-era automobiles?

Because the Gary Fisher Cordoba or Landau Brougham would surely lay the smack down on the competition.

[JC]

Dude! My dad has a '74 Cordoba.

Does that Bontrager RXL saddle come in rich Corithian leather?

[JM]

If not in rich corinthian leather, than definitely in crushed velour.

[air jordans]

First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.Do you think so?