So my bracket this year (just like yours) is total garbage. Four #1 seeds? That’s not supposed to happen. I didn’t even pony up for the office pool this year just based on the layout of the tourney. No way to win with so crowded a pool. I have a circle of buds from the old school that have the “No WAGS” pool. WAGS standing for Wives And Girlfriends. The rule was implemented after a fifth straight year of the pool being won by somebody whose name ended with “istie” or “acy”. Pools should not be made upon who has the cutest mascots or the best color schemes but for some reason (and because God obviously did not look the other way when I was in college) the Maryland Terrapins had “the cutest turtle” mascot the same year that they also had the best backcourt in the country and “Carolina Blue” just happened to be the color closest to “Tiffany’s Blue” the same year the Heels cut down the nets. The final straw came in 06 when an excited ___-istie claimed victory by leaping from her barstool in a crowded establishment and declared to the patrons “I picked Florida because I was there for Spring Break!” Maybe it was because she yelled it right at her (then) boyfriend and self proclaimed “Bracketologist” Tyler, maybe it was because she then launched into the “I-just-took-your-money dance, maybe it was because everybody hated ___-istie before this outburst but for one reason or another we didn’t see much of ___-iste after that night. It was probably because Tyler was already onto another ___-acy by then.
I swore this was going to be my year. My Badgers were looking strong after the conference season and tournament title, I knew Carolina and UCLA were not going to disappoint, and I had a dead-on hunch that Duke was not long for March. So what happens? Kyle’s new girlfriend, Stacy (of course), does his pool (unbeknownst to his homies) since he was out of the country and she wuss-bets him into a perfect Final Four by taking all #1 seeds. So now the guys who have given Kyle the business over the past weeks for filling out a bracket that held as much bravado as a Chihuahua in a tutu have to lay our bags of silver at his feet and it’s all because some “acy” snuck back into the pool. Well, I’ll give up my silver but I want the world to know it’s dirty money. The pool has tainted water this year my friends. Tainted water.