Halloween at the Salt Mine

When you spend two years growing your hair out just so you can be a character from an awesome movie for a future Halloween, you think that you could win a silly little office costume contest. But when you don't even place and you're beaten by a guy who spent $4.99 at Jo-Anne Fabrics and $2.50 at Walgreens the night before, you've got to be ready to throw down. Today I will expose such an injustice.

Trek industrial designer, Chris Carlson, spent two years growing his hair to just the right length for the world's greatest "The Dude" costume and didn't even qualify for a "nice try anyways" award. If you don't know who "The Dude" is than I have your weekend Netflix order all ready to roll. Order "The Big Lebowski" today so that it arrives on Saturday and get your popcorn and diet sprite and unplug the phone and fill the dog's treat ball with peanut butter and put ear muffs on your kids (there's some dicey language used in the flick) lock them in the basement and tell your significant other that it's totally cool if they go out with the girls/guys as long as they don't call or come back until the movie's over. I promise you'll like it.

That being said, the judging at this year's Halloween costume contest was totally bogus. I mean, Marketing had an 80's TV Character theme going so how is anybody going to top that? Here's how the top three shook out:

1. Shane's "Punky Brewster" costume
2. Sarah's "The Baroness from GI Joe" costume
3. Travis' "Michael Knight" (from "Knightrider") costume

Now, I totally understand how these guises are all legit contenders but how can a trip to Goodwill really top 1,051,200 minutes of Cost Cutters denial in training for a costume to be worn for one day? This ranks right up there with all of the greatly hyped flops of all time: Playstation 3, Britney Spears' VMA performance, Benifer, and now Chris' "The Dude" costume. While he may have not received any corporate props, I'm here to say spot on, Chris, spot on. Had I been the one judging, you'd have been crowned champion, instead, I'm standing in line at Jo-Ann Fabrics with receipt in hand. What do you say when you're trying to return a yard of fabric? "I'm sorry ma'am but this satin was just not satiny enough to satisfy my exquisite taste of such fabrics." Man, I'm going to sound like such a jerk. Maybe I can get some store credit or something like that. What would I use with my store credit? Basket weaving kinda seems fun but who has the time anymore? I'd cross-stitch a pot holder or something like that but I can't seem to recall ordering Chinese ever really requiring such an object. Any ideas?

Comments

[FearlessBlend]

You're out of your element, Donny.