To Ride or Rent?

Here’s the situation.  I bought tickets back in April to take my fiancée to go see Rent.  I have seen the musical; she has not and is very excited to go.  Just recently I have been invited to go snowboarding in CO with a good friend with the only expenses being the plane and lift tickets.  The thing is that both of these things are going on during the same weekend.  While I think Rent is a great show, how many opportunities do you get in this world to go ride 4 days of glorious powder for such little investment? 

So I threw it on the table at dinner the other night and she gave me the “I don’t care” that belied her “I really care but I’m trying to be cool” tone that only a woman who has chosen to spend her life with a knucklehead can develop.  I feel as though she’d have as much fun, if not more, with one of her girlfriends and that if I don’t go have a day or two of epic riding (I live in WI, the only epic rides here involve being dragged behind a snowmobile) that I’ll sit in the audience at Rent wishing that one of the actors would fall off the stage and make my presence worthwhile. 

What should I to do?  Remember, we are engaged and most of the deposit checks for the wedding have already cleared so I don’t think she’s backing out.  What’s the damage control like on this?  A weekend away with her girls?  A couple nights of Oprah instead of Adult Swim? 

I’ve asked around the office a bit trying to gauge the difference between the married, single, and betrothed.  A real sample group, y’know?  My hypothesis was that working in a very active/action sports based company like Trek that I’d find plenty who’d be sensitive to my plight.  What I have found is that I work with a lot of neutered individuals.  Tell me what you think and don't forget to identify your status.  I have found that marital status plays a big role in one's decision making process.  Which, as a recently engaged male, is completely foreign to me.   My future depends on your experience!

Comments

[FearlessBlend]

It's the garden of forking paths, man. You can't go down all paths simultaneously. When you make one choice (i.e., to get engaged; to buy your betrothed "Rent" tickets), you close off all others (i.e., to always do what you want to do; to go snowboarding). By reneging on your original "date," you are (it would seem unabashedly) telling your fiancee that you'd rather spend the time you had original committed to her with someone (or something) else. Not the best way to start a life together, if you ask me. But hey, do what you want. If it feels good (or in this case, better), do it. It's the American way. If she loves you, she'll get over it. And you get to shred some sweet powder. What's more important than that?

[POWDRLVR]

Honestly, why is this even a question. Any woman worth marrying would understand and even support going out to CO. If she wants you to pass up a vacation now, what would she want you to pass up in the future???

[Meghan Azhar]

Sometimes a girl needs a break from the significant other and would love to take her buddy to see RENT. I say go and play in Colorado BUT you might be looking at a few really expensive dinners before you go.

[Richard]

Hmmm! Speaking from 34 years married, I say, take her out! Sweet to the person you have stated a desire to spend your life with, sweet to you in return! After all, if she isn't also excited about the snow, then maybe also not excited about the rest of your "hobbies".

[alsoengaged]

CO in early Dec. in a La Nina year could be sketchy for snow. Take her to the show, but plan to ski again later in the season -- she'll be more apt to let you go.

[Hootie, Bike Lane Blogster]

alsoengaged, you might be on to something there. a knowledge of women as well as weather patterns. that's quite a combo. i take my hat off to your quality advice, my man.

[seniorexplorer]

What fearless blend says about forks in the road is true.

I'd add a story about a happily married couple I know. He runs a small business that keeps a few people in town busy suppling other local businesses. His employees know how to run the place while he's away. His wife has raised their couple of kids, teaches and is very active helping other kids in town.

A several times a year, he disappears for a week or two. He skis the outer limits of our planet's offerings with a few friends. He sails competitively with another group.

His wife has a rich and full life of her own. While she misses him, she's fine when he's off on an adventure; she can get more done!

My hunch is that his living dangerously must keep her on edge a bit. The flip side is that he's not foolish, and always returned in good shape. So she has to be always a bit excited to see him return in one piece: tired sometimes, but usually invigorated. His trips may help keep their relationship fresh.

My point is I know a couple that did what it seems you'd like to do. It's possible.

My other point is that my friend's wife knows she is important all on her own, and doesn't need to limit her husband's adventures. I don't know enough about your fiance.

By the way, I was married for thirty years, mostly happily.

[Gretchen Becker]

Hi, Im Gretchen, the girl with the grenade launcher rifle on one of your great cruiser townbikes. I am the envy of all those without bikes here on post. Thank you for taking the time to identify us in Iraq.
I had the opportunity to serve two years in Afghanistan and do relief/rescue work in Pakistan during the earthquake. What I discovered was that bicycles are just as much a part of daily life there as they are for us bikers in the states. The cultural differences may still exist, but love of the bike remians steadfast. Those ingenius folks found new ways to flaunt a "pimped out ride!" Impressive to say the least! My friend Brian Reipe published a story I wrote about the experience in his magazine, the Colorado Flyer. Hopefully he will let me write another one for the time in Iraq, we certainly have plenty of material to work with here. Thank you again for your time and thoughfulness. Cheers, Gretchen